John: “What’s up Cindy?”
Cindy: “I am feeling down.”
John: “Snap out of it. There is no time for people to be down.’
Cindy: “I know, but I had experienced something bad, I need time to recover.”
John: “Really? If taken into comparison, there are people have more worse situation than you, and they are doing fine.”
Cindy: “I am me, I am not them. I have my emotions to overcome. Why are you being so mean?”
John: “I am just being positive and trying to help you. You should know that you are wasting every second that you spent on negativity. I have no time for crying baby…”
Yesterday my fiancée, I call her Puppy, was feeling down, and might still be feeling down now. I did whatever I could yesterday trying to cheer her up. Of course I did not do what John did. I let her experience what she is experiencing, and just do my part.
While I am driving to office this morning, something struck me:
Why society nowadays doesn’t allow people to have negative emotions?
From what I am seeing here, people tends to dismiss other people that feeling sad or angry. We often tell them to “snap out of it” or “quit being negative” or some similar
We are not robots. We can’t search for the negative keywords in our system, and just delete them like what we do in our computer, or go to Ctrl+Alt+Delete and stop the program call ‘sadness’ and ‘anger’.
Yes, we are moving to a more civilised era, but with the wrong mind set, I think we discarding what it means to be human at the same time. This reminds me of an animation movie call Inside Out.
The animation is about projecting 5 human emotions as human characters, consist of Joy, Anger, Sadness, Fear and Disgust. Letting us see how emotions work in a human’s mind. Well, I would say they did an incredible job in researching and understanding human’s emotion. I won’t be saying in detail about the story, if you haven’t watch this animation yet, oh my… You are missing a meaningful story, but that’s entirely up to you.
Throughout the animation, I was not happy with Sadness keep touching the Memory Orbs. I totally agree with Joy that all Memory Orbs should be in positive state. Later on in the animation, Puppy said something:
Sadness was doing her job.
I don’t understand what she meant, I only see Sadness just creates more trouble, she should just stay in the circle that Joy drew and never go near to any Memory Orbs. Near the ending of the animation, I cried.
Every emotions are given by God for a reason, and every emotions matters. They are just doing their job, because we as human are expressive creature. That is what so beautiful about being a human.
The current society is shaping us to be emotionless robots, where we shouldn’t express anything negative, sometimes even positive. To them, people who express their feelings will be labeled as weak. Few examples that I experienced or I can think of:
- When Cindy express joy, John ask her to keep quiet about it, because she has to humble down or stop bragging. He could have just share the moment of happiness with Cindy.
- When Cindy express sadness, John ask her to snap out of it, there is no room to be sad. He could have just listen her out.
- When Cindy express anger, John accuse her to have anger management problem. He could have just allow Cindy to vent out.
- When Cindy express disgust, John lecture her about being petty and unable to cope to standards. He could have just not forcing Cindy to accept everything in the world.
- When Cindy express fear, John labels her as scary-cat and failure as human. He could have just give time for Cindy to overcome her fear in her own way.
Although some are bad example, and yes, Cindy sounds like an emotional person, but isn’t that what a human suppose to be? In fact, if John is that arrogant about it, he could have just walk away, but not adding salt to people’s injury. I could get used to a world that have lesser John. Hmm… Different people mix with different crowd, alright?
Suicide case had been increasing recently, I think is not about the pressure from work or study bullshit excuses create by the society and media, is about the inability of a person to express emotions that’s what a normal human suppose to be expressing.
Going through an emotional time is a mental learning for everyone, if we stop people to feel what they suppose to feel just because of comparison or ‘been there done that’ reasons, the word to describe would be selfish. We are not allowing people to learn and grow mentally in their phase, but we selfishly commanding people to just be whatever we think they should be.
I don’t mean to say that people can be as expressive as they want. I just wish people could understand that human has emotions, and emotions tell stories. Until we understand people’s story, I don’t think is fair to just ask people to ‘snap out of it’. While for people who express their emotions, do not forget that you are entitled to do so, but do respect other people at the same time.
For me, the most effective comfort method is to allow people to express their emotions, at the same time, just let them know that you are always there for them. When looking back at the Memory Orbs I obtained and will be obtaining throughout my life, of course I wish to view them in a state of joy. To reach that part in life, there are still many things I need to learn, experience, and express.
I would like to remind everyone:
Be human, not robot.
It may be ironic, do stay positive and happy. I like to see people’s smile and laughter, but I love seeing people being true to themselves. All the best in everyday life.